1. It's my fault that cowboys have 100 words for "hair."2. I once saw a rocketship eat its own leg, and I put it down on a painting.
3. I sold the painting for a house.
4. Remember the time when I was the only one who could ride the Silver Lucy at Marine Surprise? Well, I faked it.
5. When I was ten-years-old I stole some of the feelings from the impulse-buy rack at the general store.
6. I never told you about the time I gave the cricket its stripes.
7. I did tell you about the time I took them away.
8. Sometimes I make soup for the lawn.
9. My favorite number is even. Sort of.
10. I can read upside-down.
11. Once, when I was feeling especially proud, I picked up a seagull.
12. All of my calendars have an extra day.
13. I'm desperately afraid that spiders are smart enough to figure out exactly how defenseless I am when asleep.
14. I've never actually seen a dog.
15. One of them is "scalp mustache."
16. I take a bath twice a day. Sometimes I bring my gravel collection with me.
17. I am going to lie to my children if they ever ask me where gold comes from.
18. Sometimes I put toothpaste and nails together and just enjoy them, you know?
19. Whenever I'm below sea level I get depressed.
20. Also, "upper eyebrows."
21. I will never tell anyone about this.
22. I have shoes made of brick and rope. They're not much for warmth but they will never wear out.
23. I've been struck by lightning no times.
24. I think echolalia is sexy.
25. "Noggin frosting."
